Waiting

I just wrote a big post and then erased it. It was a bunch of mindless drivel. As I sit here and wait on God's plan for my life to unfold, one thought keeps coming across my mind: When have you let me down before?

I will not lie and say that I love to wait on God's timing. Waiting is hard. Those of you who know me know that my life is full of waiting on God to bring about his perfect plan. But why do I still worry? Time after time, the Lord has met my needs. He has never failed me. He has never let me down from his arms. He has never forsaken me. Even in my darkest moments, he was always there.

On my way back from New Orleans(13 hours), I had one of my kids ask me in the van how I could speak with such confidence about the bad things in my past. Caught me off guard. I was not sure how to respond, but the Holy Spirit gave me words for her. When I look back at my past, the ups and the downs, the hard times, the bad, the waiting, God is there. I wish sometimes God could change my life to make it easy, but then He lets me see. Father, you did not change my past, but you changed the way I look at it. You brought the change in the way I see it. Now I see those things as glorifying God. I am not saying they were easy, but, I praise God for them.

Father, I find myself at another one of those moments. When either you come through for me or else. Father, I praise you for my situation. Don't change it, but rather change the way I see it. Help my eyes to see your goodness to me. Help my heart to see how all of this brings me closer to you and to rejoice for it. Help me to trust you. Help me to know that you are in charge of it all. Seems like a simple prayer, but such a hard one for me. Don't make my life perfect, rather let me see your glory, and how I depend on you. I love you, Father, and I know that you will do all these great things for you are great. Help me to see Lord, help me to see.

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